ok. that explains a lot.

new knowledge or theories are always good.
specially ones that help you realize why
you're just a liiitle bit more weird than your family.

introvert reading about other introverts.

what i'm devouring at the moment.

write? right.

a surprisingly popular career option.

got word that an old friend has gone on
to retire early from the industry but went
ahead with his motorcycle business idea.

the darn guy actually pursued his dream!
and to think he put it off for years and years.
but he did it. i admire that. a whole lot.

which brings me back to when i was once
asked what would be my dream career,
and what would that passion be?

i told them i would love to write.

which is great, and they thought it's cool
and i should pursue it and i should go
and live out that passion on a daily basis!

well, truth be told i didn't tell them
the whole story. or what would
constitute a dream job for me;

to be surrounded by a gazillion cats
and be paid to eat fried chicken
or pizza or burgers or crap like that.

that would be awesome, in my book.

whatever that curve is called again.

got introduced earlier to a concept
of this something something curve.

it's similar to those stages of grief,
which is a series of personal reactions
one demonstrates when faced with grief,
and the journey one goes through
up till the point of acceptance.

...basically, how to be ok with all sorts
of crap that happens in your life.

i'm a data and analysis-driven person.
my opinions are formed by results,
as opposed to things that are vague
or theories that can't be backed by
technical work or solid proof.

or worst still, technical work that is
manufactured in order to fit that
vague theory in the 1st place.

anyone who knows me will attest
that i'll be the 1st one to accept you
if you take the time to do things proper,
be fair and transparent about it, and
make judgement calls based on that.

don't tell me, show me.
don't say it, prove it.
don't give me excuses, gimme solutions.

do all that, and not only will i agree
with you, i'd do everything i can in
order to make things work even more.

...but that's probably asking for too much.

too idealistic maybe, and perhaps i've
over-indulged in wishful thinking,
so maybe it's about time i embrace my own
version of the something something curve.
and here's how it would look like;

i'll keep you guys posted on how this goes.

who knows? maybe next time you see me i'll 

be in zen-mode. and be vegan and do yoga.

p.s. still undecided whether i regret today's

conversation or otherwise. we'll see. hehe.

something bout our exchange.

another lyrical posto, a second one
off the lovely "again" by kehlani.
acoustic songs are magical for me.

scary but strong.

strong miaw, despite looking like a moron.

being strong is over-rated.

everywhere i hear the mantra that you hafta be strong
and independent and you can stand on your own two feet
and you don’t need help from anybody.

which is fine, really.

but i’m of the opinion that it’s ok to ask for help,
it’s ok to be weak and vulnerable and at times,
it’s ok to show emotions, and be human about it.

…even if it means crying over sad movies.

however, there are instances when being strong
is not only under-rated, but downright necessary
for each and every one of us to strive to be;

…being strong when it counts.

when people around you need your help,
when things need to be done and you hafta step up,
and when you hafta endure things that others won’t.

that means people can depend on you when it matters,
people are able to feel secure and protected,
and people can take comfort in your perseverance.

being strong when it counts, now that is really something.
i think that it’s often over-looked and quite rare.
so in my eyes, that makes the person special indeed.

be thankful if you come across people with those traits.
it’s someone you can learn something positive from,
and i’ve been lucky enough to have known people like that.

…despite how scary and weird that person might be.

choose good anyway.

super miaw. very cute, 

but likely very miserable.

let's face it, being good sucks.

being good makes you miserable,
being good makes you lose everytime,
and being good makes you unhappy.

now, there's this famous saying in movies;
"with great power comes great responsibility"
and normally it comes in superhero movies.

and you know what? in a lot of those movies,
the superhero will care about everything
and everyone around him / her, and makes
great sacrifices, just so that everyone else
will be safe and will be taken care of.

but guess what? the hero / heroine is also
normally miserable, normally loses in one
or more aspects in his / her own daily life,
and in a lot of cases, is constantly unhappy
eventhough they have done good deeds.

does it sound familiar to you?

if so, that means perhaps you have also faced
difficulties in your life, and you had to go
through a lot, and you had to make sacrifices
or made a lot of compromises yourself, and you
might feel sad or unhappy or under-appreciated.

and you might feel miserable and it's unfair
that you have to take care of the whole world,
but the world doesn't take care of you.

now, is that such a bad thing?
does that make you a loser in life?
is it something really not worth it?

i think it depends on your intentions.

if you choose to lose when you can win,
if you choose to respect those who disrespect you,
if you choose to be kind to those who are hurtful,
and you do all those things for a good reason,
who do you think will be rewarded in the end?

in the end, i believe that in life we are tested,
and i also believe that if we do things with good
intentions, and if we value being good over bad,
and if we always remember the power of doa,
insyaAllah we'll be rewarded in one way or another.

so choose to be good.

in my eyes, it's the biggest strength someone
can have, it makes you my personal hero /
heroine, and it'll be worth it in the end, trust me.