Monday 4 August 2014

and in Allah i trust.

where do i start?

i've tucked this away for quite a while.
didn't quite know how to react to it,
let alone write about it.

one of my fave uncles passed away.
him, along with my lovely aunt,
and my 4 young cousins.

they were on THAT flight.

the irony of it all was,
i got word about the tragedy the night before.
little did i know that they were passengers.

the next day, afternoon here,
next thing i know my sis messaged me with;
"...dek, dak udak dek..."

my heart just sank.

it just. sank.
i mean, i knew what she would say next.
i just didn't have the heart to read it.

you all know what happened next.
everything was well covered
and debated and reported all over.

i was here alone. it was a tough weekend.

fast forward weeks now,
i try not to think about it too much,
as impossible as that may seem.
it's all just flashes of images to me.
and sometimes i wake up fearful.

i'm tearing up as i'm writing this,
and there are days when i just, you know,
cry over absolutely nothing, i guess.

but i've accepted the fact that this is fate,
there is nothing i can do about it,
and i can only pray for them now.

it's the best i can do.

in the meantime,
i will remember him in particular,
because i know he looked out for me when i was a boy.

there are 3 things i remember him by;

the time i watched my first world cup,
think it was italia 1990, argentina vs cameroon.
the match was in the wee hours,
the cameroonians surprisingly won,
i was asleep while he stayed up to watch.

then there was the time before he married,
i remember him being so in love with my aunt,
even named his fave sweets after her,
i remember being so happy for him,
and he was so much in love.

and then there's his traits.
he was funny, smart, handsome,
and a darn great uncle to have.

i love you.
all of you.
al-fatihah.