doesn't mean it should.

so people are going nuts over this
"ada apa dengan cinta 2" flick.
apparently it's about true love.

i quote;
kisah cinta apabila kita bercinta dgn soulmate.
you can put distance, madness, anger and
everything in between. but you can never
put an end to that love story.

here's the thing about soulmate-love-stories.
sure, i believe in love and in soulmates, and
sometimes love stories really don't end.
but sometimes common sense has to prevail.
it's nice to think love stories don't end.

...but dat doesn't mean dat it should.

lesson of the day.

be mindful of spraying dat starch thingy
and straightaway ironing your black
or dark coloured pants.

it makes it look like you have smudges
of white stuff. all around specific parts
of your pants dat you really don't want to.

...trust me.

technicality of the day.

i'm always one to encourage dialogue.
but sometimes the dialogue i'm
aiming for, doesn't quite happen.

me : ok we're done. but before we go off
for the weekend, i'll allow one question
from any of you. ask anything you want.

colleague : how come ure not married yet?
is everything normal?

me : i meant, ask me anything technical!
and everything is normal, don't worry.

so dere. nothing like having your sexuality
questioned, during a technical discussion.

party up.

so i'm told by not supporting isle in the next
sawak elections, dis means dat i am not
memperjuangkan isle di sawak.

i disagree, bcos dere's plenty of kegiatan dakwah
and membantu oghang isle kat sawak dat remains
very active. get in touch with majlis islam or baitulmal.

and dis is politics. in politics, you vote based on who is
capable to create practical change. and to expect parti isle
to be the majority in a state where the majority are
non-moslems? well. hmmm.

if people are really ikhlas, and you really wanna
perjuangkan isle, just get involved with dakwah or
programmes dat help people or donate to good causes.

you don't need to be in a party to do good things.

3T#7

three things i've observed over the past two weeks;


1. whenever matsleh shows up in a flowery shirt,
he is considered to be metrosexual, and is trendy.
and whenever i do, i'm considered to be homo.

...double standards. hmmmph.


2. some of us take pride in being very isle and yet
like to ask hal nape tak kawen lagi, which,
by definition, is something that depends on ketentuan.

...rase diri sangat solehin, tapi cakap macam tade iman.


3. been watching these discovery channel shows about
the mysteries of lost civilizations and stuff, but for me,
the bigger mystery is when a long lost fren contacts me.

...and starts speaking to me cakap omputeh.

bear with me.

bear. not bear, but bear. 

oh well, you know what i mean.

i'm just having one of those days.

i've been feeling this way for a while now,
and ubik knows exactly what i'm talking about,
but here's something really fecked up about me;

i sometimes feel i don't deserve good things.

being me, i always find it far easier to accept
and rationalize when bad stuff happens to me,
and most of the time i always feel thankful
and i super appreciate the good stuff that happens
in my life, be it family, friends, work, whatever.

...i just don't feel deserving, sometimes.

my head tells me that being grateful and feeling
deserving are two totally separate entities, and
maybe that's just how i justify to myself why
it's ok or it's normal to feel this way, and maybe
it's the best way to handle things like this.

and of course, it may not be the case,
and i might be totally 100% wrong and
i could end up being in trouble for this.

but anyway, i can only be honest about how
i feel about it, and maybe it would make sense
for me to explore WHY i feel this way.

one big reason is probably because i am highly
aware of the bad stuff i've done in my life, be it
intentionally or not. no, it's mostly unintended.
(well ok, this could also may not be the case and
once again maybe i am in huge denial).

the point is, maybe it's easier to rationalize that
each bad stuff happens is indirectly a result of
me having done bad stuff to others in the past.

the other big reason i think, is because i have
been so used to working and trying so hard,
only to be unappreciated in my efforts, or not
being recognized for it, or not being financially
rewarded for it, one way or another.

it's like fighting tooth and nail, for so little.

so in the end, when good stuff happens, i end up
treating it as a 'delayed reward', or i treat it as
a life lesson that if i worked hard enough,
things will work out eventually, or i treat it as
'bad stuff made me grow into someone better'.

which is true. do i believe it? yes.
am i grateful to allah for it? absolutely.
but do i deserve it? hmmm...

fecked up thinking, i know.

so, i'll think of it this way; even if perhaps
i don't deserve it, this means only one thing;
allah has been wonderful enough to me,
to shower me with wonderful life lessons
and wonderful rewards, tangible and otherwise.
and this also means that i owe it to everyone
that i love to keep improving myself as a person.

syukur alhamdulillah.

p/s : thanks bik for the brainfeed.
i can always count on you for some sense,
despite the fact you are sucky. haha!

(ok. sorry!) of the day

so my weekend starts, and out of boredom
i get into this rather heated debate with
apis and zedi in one of our whatsapp group.

then to cut things short (no doubt because
i was winning), they stop me and went;
"...ko ni mi, byk soal plok. mlm jemat ni..."

oh ya. sooorrrrrry.
forgot they had better stuff to do.
bloody married folk. LOL.

there's noone else like you.

here's an inspirational quote posto,
when terry crews went on the ellen show,
i just loved his message that, the truth is,
when we are just ourselves, there's noone
else like us! i love that message.

 

3T#6

i just got word about the whole 15k hantaran thingy.
it wasn't as shocking as we would normally expect,
but still very unnecessary and annoying to see.

my three thoughts regarding that whole debacle


1. it isn't abnormal to see hantaran figures now
as being a bit over-the-top and excessive. after
all, everyone lives in an instagram world, kan?

specially when one (or both) sides want to have a
fancy ceremony in fancy venues with fancy food
and fancy clothing and fancy wedding cards and
fancy gifts and fancy wedding photoshoots, etc, etc
and that's even BEFORE getting komen2 mokcik*

thing is, if you can't afford to get hitched, don't.


2. one thing that stood out was the logical difficulty
for that groom to raise 15k. apparently he earns 1.5k,
so it doesn't take a genius to figure how tricky it is.

if you really want to be with that person, and that
person is sincere to you, then don't make life miserable.
because there's nothing worse than letting go of
something dear, just to satisfy a ceremony craving.
is it really worth sacrificing happiness?

thing is, be reasonable. or be sorry.


3. for this couple, my personal opinion is, both families
never wanted it to succeed. you'll always find a reason
if you don't want it to work. kalu da tak suke tu kan...

now, the most important point of all, and do take note,
is that religion upholds the sanctity of marriage, and
makes it as simple and sensible to let it happen.
5 things; bride, groom, wali, 2 witnesses, ijab & qabul.
that's all it is. it REALLY is as sensible as that.


thing is, life is simple. people make things complicated.


* komen2 mokcik = ayat2 mokcik kat kenduri that are
horribly unnecessary and designed to criticize EVERYTHING,
regardless of whether it makes sense to or not.

support of the day.

scan your inbox. someone's future might be there. 

as much as i can be sentimental at times,
there are times where i feel it's necessary
to put emotions to the side and be pragmatic.

i'd like to send out a plea for those who have
emails from employment agencies in oil and gas.
please send them to your friends or ex-colleagues
who have been affected by the recent oil slump.
the quicker they apply for it, the better.

we know that competition is currently rife,
and there is no guarantees we'll get somewhere.
but let's give things a shot first, ya.

so to those we know who were affected,
they don't need our sympathy right now.
they need a bit of support. and a bit of help.

so please help out. as much as you can.

conviction of the day.

have self-conviction. and hold your head up high. 

i don't recall where i read this,
but it's something which i believe
should be a large part of who we are;

"...i would rather be hated for i am
than loved for who i am not..."

have conviction in yourself. always.