rainy days. not necessarily a bad thing.
specially if you're living in the desert.
for anyone who's known or met me,
i think 9 times out of 10 they would view
me as being positive and sunny and happy.
...which is true, for the most part.
after all, my brain and my personality is such,
i am wired to react better to positive things,
and i am more inclined or tend to gravitate more
towards things that are funny and uplifting,
and i tend to find the good in things or people.
optimistic, by definition.
however, for those who KNOW me know me,
can often see that i can switch very, very easily
to something a bit more dark or negative.
i would straightaway think of a worst case scenario,
i would expect the least favourable outcome,
and i would prepare and plan for things to go wrong.
...because it seems or feels like they always do.
pessimistic, by definition.
in reality, eventhough 90% of the time i'm optimistic,
it is actually waaay EASIER for me to be pessimistic.
and that part of me is steeper than the sunnier one.
if i analyze it, it's because based on my history,
and things that have happened to me, and some stuff
are still occurring right now, has made me careful,
because i have been disappointed and upset and
let down multiple times, over multiple situations.
and because i'm not naturally built for sadness,
it affects me a whole lot, it makes me unhappy,
and it takes a long time for me to get over it.
however, if i'm being fair to myself and be a bit
more pragmatic, that may not necessarily be a bad thing.
because it has moulded me into someone who
can be prepared or expect for the worst, but also
someone who can still work and hope for the best.
pessimistic optimist, by definition.
...or optimistic pessimist, i can't tell.
oh, well.
