L.S.W.N.#3 (my mct bubble).

let's face it, i'll never be one to love the great outdoors

or to be adventurous and outgoing like other folk, 

but that certainly doesn't mean i don't appreciate going out

to places i like and with the company of those who i enjoy!

so this is basically my connectivity bubble looks like during

my lovely time living back in wonderful muscat!

critic, critique, critical.

be receptive to both sides. and make it work for you.

a query came up regarding criticism.

...or in this case, the art of receiving criticism.

now, anyone who's dealt with me knows that i would

have no qualms about criticizing you, and i'd do it 

directly, indirectly, mean, nice, depending on the situation.

well, the important thing to keep in mind of, is the spirit

of that criticism. do it when there are valid concerns to 

address, do it when there are mistakes to be avoided, 

do it to get things running better, do it when you can get

even 1% of a productive result. don't do it if it's mean spirited. 

...do it for the right reasons.

now, the flipside of this is for me to receive criticism itself.

a natural reaction would be negative of course. after all,

we're all human beings. it's a natural reaction to feel peeved.

however, the 1st thing to do is to go back to the spirit of it.

so for every piece of criticism, i need to put faith that it was

done in order to be constructive, instead of to be mean to me.

now, in all these years, through lots of experiences,

i've managed to train myself to look at things this way;

1. have faith in the person who's delivering the criticism. there

might be something there that i've actually missed. and the person

criticizing me is actually someone who cares about me.

2. if it's purely negative or nonconstructive criticism; it 

doesn't change what i'm pursuing, because i have faith in what

i'm doing itself. and this is what i mean by that;

2a.  i know what i'm doing, i know what my objectives are,

i know why i'm doing it, so no-one can discourage me.

2b. i know that things take time, and i might not get the 

results i want as quickly as i want, but it's ok, because a

lot of things in life takes effort and time.

2c. there's often more than 1 way to get where i want to be.

and i trust that i often have to go through a natural process

or through a lot of steps. and that's ok.

3. if it's positive or constructive criticism, even better! and 

this is what i mean by that;

3a . by having external criticism, i might find additional truths

or additional benefits and it'll just ADD to the objectives i want!

3b. by getting criticized, i can realize new ways to improve and

to reach my objectives and goals faster than what i 1st thought!

3c. by receiving criticism, i can find new or better ways and

processes and steps in order to achieve my dreams!

so there, provide criticism for the right reasons, and learn to

receive and how to handle both positive and negative ones.

...it'll definitely make you a better person, trust me!

L.S.W.N.#2 (the lockdown trend).

since we've been on lockdown for almost 3 months now,

here's a typical trend for us normal folk over the period:

i. waking up to a bright, lovely new day

ii. realizing we're still in lockdown, 2 seconds later

iii. reading our text messages / jokes sent by frens / watch cat videos

iv. finding out it's still 8.30 am AFTER everything in step iii

v. deciding to jog / watch our fave tv shows / clean the house / 

cook or try to cook / order food delivery and saying hi and thanks

to the fantastic delivery people / bug frens and family thru watsapp / 

play playstation or pc games endlessly / watch more cat videos /

read the story books that we meant to / update this darn blog for once

vi. realizing tomorrow is another day and we should be grateful

for everything life has given us and always hope for the best to come!

L.S.W.N.#1 (the working person).

hellue boys and girls!

today we're trying out a brand new segment;

Life Science Wit Najmi

as with lots of my new segments in the past,

this too, would probably fade away and disappear,

but as with all things, let's give it shot and see ya!

0 = that 1st day of reporting for work in a new team / 

different building / foreign country / alien planet

i = getting to your nice new desk and computer /

meeting your new desk-mate / teammates / boss

ii = realizing that your new desk-mate / teammates /

boss are a bit weird and potentially being sociopaths

iii = realizing you have absolutely no clue what you're doing

iv = lunch time / getting hot chocolate from the pantry /

gossiping with your similarly evil-minded friends

v = performance reviews / career progression exams /

your pc crashing and you forgot to save 8 hours of work

vi = getting acknowledgement / praise / mediocre ranking

because it's either they don't mean it or you're used to it by now

infinity timeline = when you slowly but finally realize 

the truth that work NEVER EVER ENDS!

coach the coach, train the trainers, and lead the leaders.

be the one who puts all the white ladders together

had a good conversation regarding coaching or leadership.

now, in my opinion, the problem with this concept is the 

assumption that everyone has the innate ability to do so.

in my experience, i find that to not be true.

now, don't get me wrong, i do believe that some are natural

born leaders, but most aren't, and everyone needs guidance

on how to lead and inspire, instead of just trial and error.

you need to be trained or learn to lead or coach others.

the reality of industries is such, that people are promoted

based on necessity or based on merits of their core position.

for example, you're entrusted to lead an engineering team

because you've been a very good engineer.

and the other instance is where, if you are a senior engineer,

you are expected to coach or mentor others, whether you'd

like to or otherwise, or whether you're capable to or not.

now, the downfall of these two instances is, leading or 

coaching is a TOTALLY different ballgame from executing.

managing people is a highly complex and specific skillset.

imagine being a staff for 10, 15, 20 years. what WILL 

work for your favour once you are promoted into a leader

or coach is, you've been around the industry long enough

to understand what works and what doesn't in the industry,

AND by that time you have been exposed to different bosses

and teammates and different styles of working.

so, in the absence of anything else, you would purely rely on 

YOUR experience and training. and what works specifically 

for YOU based on YOUR preferences and values.

but what if they're not positive or yields excellent results?

this is where i feel three things become vital;

two of them being proper training and a conducive environment.

proper training can consist of many different things like

training courses, trial on-the-job training, management books,

online courses, and my personal favourite; to gather and

learn from experienced people in those positions.

and a conducive environment consists of the opportunity

to make mistakes and improve, given time to implement

ideas, and being in an organization that actually has the

same set of values and orientation as the training. 

besides, what's the point in spending time and money and

effort to train and coach people, when the actual organization

doesn't even practice those values and goals in the 1st place?

and what's the third important element? YOU.

you need to WANT to do it. i think you should be honest and 

true to yourself, give it a shot, because sometimes you never

know where your true passion lies, but be transparent if you don't.

now, the thing i like about honesty about a role is, it'll make you

relish and push to be the best you can at it if you're passionate,

and you'll care about those in your circle and in turn, you'd just 

go the extra mile just to help them become the best that THEY can.

nothing like seeing others grow and succeed and be happy.

...not to mention you'll find fulfillment and happiness in your role.

and THAT, can be more valuable than all the riches in the world.

i fell by the wayside, like everyone else.

another lyrical posto, off the melodic

"before you go" by lewis capaldi.

i think in life, you sometimes just need to accept 

that there are depths that you just can't reach anymore,

and at times connections just runs it course naturally.

...and who knows? maybe that's ok.

fighting is when two people care enough to get ugly.

off the pilot episode of "bless this mess".

this comedy show seems promising to me.

embedded no more.

how the modern commute (and community spirit) looks like.

here's something that i've noticed about kl folk lately;

...we seem to have no clue what a community spirit is!

in other cultures, particularly the western ones, i admire how people

value socializing, and having a sense of being friends with your 

neighbours, having gatherings where family, friends and children

can have meals or bbq's or playing sports. not only that, they act as

a shared support system, be it for safety, or to help when you get sick,

or to have people to talk to, or even to just look out for each other, 

without the other party even asking for it!

unfortunately, kl folk has a different kind of idea of community;

community means living in a shared area, minding our own business

at all times, looking at people or situations in a negative light before

even getting the facts down, and having the tendency for a blaming 

culture, while resorting to being punishing and having a negative mindset.

...always. it's just embedded in us for some weird reason.

now don't get me wrong, kl folk are skeptical of each other because

we're surrounded by danger in the form of theft, or scams, or generally

being susceptible to other people taking advantage of us.
that's just the reality of living in kl, or in any big city, i guess.

...but does it HAVE to be that way? 

now, from personal experience, if you're living abroad and

you need a support system, your community or neighbours 

around you are the ones who you rely on for friendship,

a helping hand, emergency contact if something goes wrong

or if you get sick, communal activities for a bit of fun and laughs.

...you know, just to enrich your daily life and others.

now don't get me wrong, i'm not one of those super festive people

who thrives on being around others all the time, or even having the

interest to socialize in large groups of people, but i can surely relate.

...classic introvert, you see.

but i can understand what it would mean to people who have been

brought up in a communal society or village or country or culture.

so i'll always make the effort to support them, in any form i could,

i believe if it's something good, we should nurture it instead of

being discouraging, and even if we don't feel the need to be a part,

the very least we can do is to support the ones who do!

an old colleague once said in his farewell speech; "...i believe that

any good that we do or spread, will somehow find a way back to us,

in some way or form, it'll be something we get back..."

...yup, i definitely agree.

innocent jokes of the day.

off "two and a half men";

alan : ok, new dinner conversation. ah, jake, how was school?

jake : i don't think this conversation will make you any happier, dad.

alan : what now?

jake : we had a surpise test today.

alan : and?

jake : i was REALLY surprised.

- jake, being adorably  honest.

jake : there's 2 muffins sitting side by side in a muffin tin in the oven. 

1 muffin says to the other; "...boy, it's hot in here!...", 

and the other 1 says; "...holy crap! a talking muffin!..."

- jake, telling a joke to his uncle charlie.

yup. for some reason i found these to be horribly funny!

...it's probably the 9 week lockdown talking.

blogger site realization of the day.

yup. mildly annoying to a mild ocd person.

as someone with mild OCD, i absolutely hate the fact that the words
don't align nicely on the page whenever you switch the view from
"web version" to "mobile version", and it looks different as well
whenever you view it on a laptop.

paragraphs and words that don't align drives me nuts.

#ILikeTheWebVersionMuchMore

#DontMindMeIt'sJustTheLockdownEffectTalking

more good things to come this year.

forged, or written in stone.

let's face it, any kind of love story is cringy.

it's cringy for us to write or share about,
it's cringy for others to read about,
it's just cringy for everybody involved.

however, behind every cringy love story,
there is always a larger truth;

it's honest, it's heartfelt, it's horribly embarrassing,
it's terrifying, it's painfully heartbreaking,
it can be a striking reminder, or a healing method,
or something for us to learn and grow from,
or something for us to cherish forever.

now, some of my favourite stories are the ones
with a hint of adversary, where people need to
overcome the odds in order to be together. or not.

don't get me wrong, i love a happy ending just like
any other person, but i also know for a fact that
sometimes happy endings just don't happen.

but the thing about sharing adversary or going through
traumatic experiences together, is that we learn that we
can open up to someone else unconditionally,
and that will always result in a feeling or relationship
that is forged in stone. regardless of the outcome.

so yup, any kind of love story is cringy,
especially the good ones.

...and that's what makes it all the more worthwhile.

the perks of going to the dentist.

how one looks after a dentist trip. yup, plus the mini mohawk.

so i went to the dentist a few months ago.

looking back, it was an intriguing experience,
simply because the last time i went was 150 years ago,
and it was the most meaningful human interaction
i had post-oman and pre-kl lockdown!

anyway, so here are some rather surprising perks i've found,
despite all the scary thoughts or stories about a dentist trip;

1. you find that the hole in your gum isn't what you thought.

2. you find out that you're lazy and bad in keeping teeth clean.

3. ms dentist was actually nice about it when explaining things
to you. quite frankly if i were the dentist, i'd say, "...brush your
teeth more than once a day, you chummy little slob!..."

4. no, i don't know what chummy means. or if it actually exists.

5. you get to be treated in a nicely decorated room. sure, perhaps
the colourful wall decorations are more meant to subdue the kids,
but i appreciate the happy emotions from it, regardless.

6. you start blabbing all sorts of nonsense when you're petrified.

7. now, the seating position. it tilts downwards. a LOT. now,
while i fully appreciate that this is the best way for ms dentist
to perform her duties, but quite frankly having your legs hoisted
up in the air while having your head towards the ground goes
against my preferred daily norm of sitting down. AND it certainly
doesn't assist when you're already petrified in the 1st place.

8. you find out that despite what ALL your friends say, it is
clinically proven that you DON'T have a big mouth. or jaw opening
more like it, but it's nice to prove all those bastards wrong!

9. i too, enjoy teaching my engineering "kids", so i can appreciate
people taking time to explain things and train assistants on the job.

10. as a reservoir engineer in surveillance, i can appreciate the concept of doing diagnostic tests and taking as much information as possible in order to build a full picture, before recommending options on how to proceed and what the pros and cons are. i can also appreciate that no matter how much you explain things to people, there are certain technical details that you simply cannot expect non-practitioners to understand and make a fully informed decision on. if it were me, i'd go; ",,,just do what i tell you.." MIC DROP.

11. anesthesia IS NO JOKE, PEOPLE! however, what IS a joke is,
it would be nice to inject it in the thigh of, say, usain bolt and
challenge him to a 100 m race. NOT SO FAST NOW YA? haha!

12. the notion of medical professionals of being higher levels of
patience vs the average person is likely very true. i've seen 1st hand
how ms dentist deals with people when things aren't going to plan
or when things aren't working or available as they should be.
quite frankly i would've managed the situation FAR worse than her.
and as certain ex-colleagues might attest to, i'm VERY sarcastic
and not pleasant to deal with at all when i'm pissed off haha!

13. HOWEVER, as someone who likes to observe people, you DO
wonder how that patience would affect them. i mean, as a human being, i'm sure they need to vent somehow, or hope that they channel that possible inner frustration in a good way. it does make you feel like asking ms dentist if she's ok, and offer to hear her vent if she needs to.

14. for any business or shop, never ever underestimate the importance
of having friendly people at reception. it could make someone's day.

15. also, never underestimate the importance of having seemingly
fashionable shades for the patients to wear. we appreciate looking good while having a huge light blasted in our face haha!

16. jazz-ish type songs isn't really my forte, i'm limited to a few norah jones and fiona apple songs, but i've learnt that they can actually be quite catchy!

17. certain dental procedures DO have massive side effects. like it
makes you grin non-stop for a few days for no reason, and it makes
you feel like digging up your old colgate club membership card!

so there. do yourself a big favour and go visit your local dentist, people! your gums will thank you for it in the long run, and who knows, maybe you'll just make a lovely new friend as well in the process!

till the next brush!

bahkan lebih dari itu.

the song recommendations have been on fire lately,
and here's another lyrical posto off the soothing
"lebih dari egoku" by mawar de jongh

definitely not sabrina.

how what we like looks like.

now, under normal circumstances, one would think that the 1st thing i would look for when the economy sector is restarted, is for me to check whether things like banks, law offices, postage, restaurants are re-opened.

...you know, the more important stuff.

but what did i actually look for? does this mean bookstores are back

...yup, that says a lot about my current mindset on priorities.

however, it also points out another thing; i love stories! i don't mind in what shape or form it comes in, (hardcopy) books are my favourite of course, but if it comes in the form of movies or (understandable) art, so be it.

but another form that i absolutely love is stories through blogs. i love the fact that people are still writing, sharing their stories or poems or just using the blog as an outlet to vent or to just blabber about random crap (like the one you're reading now).

i dunno, there's just something magical about words being articulated on a canvas.

anyway, recently came across a blog, and just by reading through, i found quite a lot of things to be super relatable; being a bit of a nerd, feeling sad and pouring your heart and soul in writing, bits and pieces of poetry, having other blogs previously but choosing to shift to another one for different reasons, feeling like what we've written isn't up to scratch and we could do better, feeling that tinge of guilt when we've "ignored" our blog for so long (god knows i haven't updated my tumblr blog for ages), going through heartbreak, trying and failing miserably, but having the guts to keep going, and believing in the idea of a soulmate.

it really is a nice feeling to know that there's other people out there who's journey feels oddly at ease with what you've actually gone through in the past.

so to everyone out there who finds the points above to be in parallel with your world, take it from me; sometimes it doesn't get better, and that's ok, because maybe it wasn't even meant to work out in the 1st place.

...but sometimes, just sometimes, it DOES.

now that, my friend, makes everything worth keep going on for.

always.

mars sniplets.

the sight. once upon a time.

well, what can i say? i've been on mars ever since i left oman 4 months ago.

some sniplets about my new life here on mars;

1. i've retired. or at least i'm trying to. more on this in a later post.

2. i miss daily human interaction. both from this lockdown and retirement.

3. i went to the dentist for the 1st time in 150 years. more on this later.

4. the pandemic has made us all feel how isolation feels like.

5. having more time on your hands doesn't necessarily equal more things get done.

6. this time last year i was dreaming of getting lots of malaysian food in the bazaars. yup, that STILL hasn't happened either.

7. i cry more now. both happy and sad tears. seems my heart has gotten softer.

8. the oil price went to negative in the states. never thought i'd live to see that.

9. i have a newfound respect and adoration for the medical community, authorities with sound technical and social judgement, and what the term "essential workers" actually means.

10. i realized that i have too much stuff. need to sell and / or donate after this. simplfy life.

11. i used to bemoan having little time to devour my books. i still haven't finished one.

12. i miss my omani family. they're idiots but i love them.

13. i feel the need to write again. there's things i wanna say. lots of crap, in fact.

..i'm back, i guess.

what if nothing ever will change.

another lyrical posto, pure vocal talent, this person.
it's off "hard place" by H.E.R.
go check her out!

i got issues. and one of them is how bad i need you.

so i've just been blown away by julia michael's
live performance of 'issues' on the jimmy fallon show.
so here's a modified lyrical posto.