it never gets easier.

you'd think by now i've gotten used to it.
you'd think by now i can handle things.
you'd think by now i'd be immune.

leaving home again never gets easier.

my routine is such, that i finish packing
2 days in advance, so that leaves me with
the final 2 days just to centre myself.

i can lounge nicely on my sofa,
i can shoot some hoops in the court below,
i can (attempt) to swim in the pool,
i can take some more train rides for fun,
i can walk around kl malls to feel alive,
i can spend time with my folks,
i can watch malay dramas and tv shows,
i can eat whatever to my hearts' content,
i can laugh and have fun with my friends.

tomorrow morning depression sinks in,
tomorrow afternoon reality bites,
rest of tomorrow loneliness clouds me.

but at the end of the day it's ok,
i'm doing this because i want to,
and i'm doing this for those i love.

it's always better once i think it through.

it just never gets easier.